13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don't Do

September 25, 2023
In the sensible follow-up to 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, therapist Morin aims to help couples break “common but unhealthy habits that will eat at your mental strength” and replace them with relationship-fortifying ones. Her solid counsel includes not ignoring problems, particularly those “likely to grow bigger” (being in debt, parenting disagreements); not keeping secrets, which exert an “emotional toll” on the secret-keeper and cause secondary damage to the relationship (instead, partners can open up a dialogue about honesty—“What’s an example of a time when you’re glad I confided in you about something?”); and not being a “martyr,” as it’s possible to acknowledge another’s stress without denying one’s own (she reminds readers to practice asking for—and accepting—help, otherwise their partners will “be left trying to guess” how to offer it). Grounding her advice in ample case studies, Morin strikes a smart balance between encouraging readers to engage in self-examination (healthier people make for healthier partners) and team-based compromise and communication, all delivered in conversational and nonjudgmental prose that will earn readers’ trust. It’s an intelligent and approachable resource for those looking to work on their relationships.

November 1, 2023

Psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Morin (13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do) offers solid advice for couples wishing to strengthen their relationship. This latest work follows the format of her previous books by identifying 13 negative or unhealthy behaviors to avoid. In this case, the discussion focuses on behaviors guaranteed to sabotage relationships. Selected topics include keeping secrets, failing to set boundaries, the inability to communicate respectfully, and blaming others. Each chapter highlights one behavior and follows a uniform format. There's a description of the conduct at hand, a quiz to assess its impact on the readers' relationships, and an explanation of how the behavior typically evolves. Morin provides tips for changing negative behaviors and conversation starters to help readers tackle the issue with their partners in a healthy, nonthreatening way. Each chapter also includes a case study demonstrating how one couple dealt with that specific problem. A brief conversation with an expert on each topic concludes every chapter, providing readers with a broader perspective. VERDICT Clear, supportive guidance, coupled with the book's logical structure, will make this a title that couples return to whenever they need a relationship tune-up. An excellent work for newlyweds.--Lydia Olszak

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