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January 29, 2024
Essayist and musician Winter wrestles with provocative questions of desire and self-discovery in her intimate debut account of navigating marital nonmonogamy. After meeting an attractive younger man named Matt at a bar near her home in Brooklyn, Winter mentioned the encounter to her husband, Stewart, who—true to a promise he’d made years ago, before the couple was engaged—encouraged her to pursue the connection further. From there, Winter and Stewart laid the groundwork for an open marriage that allowed both to date other people, with rules about sex and communication in place to ensure “nobody hurt”—most of which they eventually broke. Winter catalogs her sexual encounters, her and Stewart’s trips to couples therapy, the ever-shifting boundaries of their arrangement, and their awkward conversations with others about it, including, most memorably, their 13-year-old son. She writes about the benefits of the situation (“When I know I’ll see Matt soon, I’m more patient with the kids, more eager to have sex with Stewart”) as often as its complications (“On the one hand, if Stew is dating lots of women, he’s unlikely to fall in love with any one of them. But on the other hand, I’m jealous of how easy it all seems for him”). It adds up to an illuminating and balanced account of a nontraditional relationship. For those curious about polyamory, this is a spicy, stimulating treat. Agent: Sam Hiyate, Rights Factory.